Celeb-mortality Triumvirate, courtesy of Judy M.

A complete set:

Les paul
Eunice shriver kennedy
And now... Robert Novak

Amy Winehouse
Dick Van Dyke
Sheryl Crow
Gene Wilder
Fidel Castro

Phyllis Diller
Bob Barker
Michael Jackson
Margaret Thatcher
Elizabeth Taylor

Betty Ford
Carol Channing
Dick Clark
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Kirk Douglas

JD Salinger
Captain Beefheart
Oral Roberts
Patrick Swayze

50 Points :( Poor MJ...

Happy '09 Everybody!

2009 death pool:

Amy Winehouse
Dick Van Dyke
Sheryl Crow
Gene Wilder
Fidel Castro

Phyllis Diller
Bob Barker
Michael Jackson
Margaret Thatcher
Elizabeth Taylor

Betty Ford
Carol Channing
Dick Clark
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Kirk Douglas

JD Salinger
Captain Beefheart
Oral Roberts
Patrick Swayze

W. Mark Felt
Zsa Zsa Gabor
I.M. Pei
Phyllis Diller
Betty Ford
Billy Graham
Mickey Rooney
Carol Channing
Monty Hall
Fyvush Finkel
Ernest Borgnine
Fidel Castro
Jack Kervorkian
Dick Clark
Bob Barker
Margaret Thatcher
Wilford Brimley
Elizabeth Taylor
Sheryl Crow
Kirk Douglas
Charlton Heston



21 points.

Issac Hayes

20 August 1942 - 10 August 2008
(65 years, 11 months, 22 days old)


Occupation: American soul and fun legend. Record producer, actor, composer, arranger, singer, and Chef :)

Cause of Death: Likely "stroke by treadmill"

Trivia: Left SouthPark because he was sick of them making fun of Scientologists. How bizzare.

Bernie Mac

October 5, 1957 - August 9, 2008 (50 years old)

Occupation: Stand-up comedian and actor, known best for being one of the Original Kings of Comedy, his role as Frank Cotton in Ocean's Eleven, and of course, his eponymous Fox sitcom.

Cause of Death: Complications due to pneumonia, brought on by sarcoidosis, a tissue inflammation disease he has had since 1983.

Trivia: Today the Bud Billiken parade in Chicago (his hometown) was dedicated to his memory. This parade is always held on the second Saturday in August and features African-Americans promoting the betterment of Chicago youth. 

Randy Pausch

October 23, 1960 - July 25, 2008

Known For: His "Last Lecture," an inspirational tome this Carnegie-Mellon professor delivered first to the University community, then to millions after being diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. 

Cause of Death: Aforementioned Pancreatic Cancer.

Trivia: Because he mentioned some of his dreams in his lecture, before he died he was able to practice with the Pittsburgh Steelers and appear in the upcoming Star Trek movie. 

Morta-ley's trivia: my mom has been blogging about it for months! 

Estelle Getty

July 25, 1923 - July 22, 2008 (3 days away from reaching 85 years old)

Best known for: Sophia on the Golden Girls! And she was Stallone's mom in the movie Stop! Or my Mom will Shoot!

Cause of death: "Natural Causes." She suffered from Osteoporosis and Lewy Body Dementia, which had previously been misdiagnosed as both Parkinson's and Alzheimer's. 

Trivia: Was actually one year younger than Bea Arthur, who played her daughter on the Golden Girls. 

Happy Birthday

A big, smiley Happy Birthday to Celeb.Death.Patrol Editor Morta-Ley!! :) :) :) :)

the short list, updated

W. Mark Felt
Zsa Zsa Gabor
I.M. Pei
Phyllis Diller
Betty Ford
Billy Graham
Mickey Rooney
Carol Channing
Monty Hall
Fyvush Finkel
Ernest Borgnine
Fidel Castro
Jack Kervorkian
Dick Clark
Bob Barker
Margaret Thatcher
Wilford Brimley
Elizabeth Taylor
Sheryl Crow
Kirk Douglas
Charlton Heston

Sadly, I only get 16 points for Heston. Almost halfway through the year, I'm not doin' too well... But, better than Charlton Heston. Probably better than most of the folks on that list...

George Carlin

12 May 1937 - 22 June 2008
71 years, 1 month, 12 days



Occupation: Author, comedian, grammy award winner, Genius
Cause of Death: Heart Failure
Trivia: I'll do a quote instead, "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."

:( So fucking sad... I can't even listen to Stern today...

And, we're back

I'm sorry the Editors of Celebrity.Death.Patrol have been so neglectful over the past many weeks. We're back to you now with a short list of highlighted and recent departures (Yeah, I already know I missed the Baskin Robbins guy in there somewhere too):

Cyd Charisse, 86, American actress and dancer (Singin' in the Rain, The Band Wagon), heart attack. 6-17-2008

Tim Russert, 58, American journalist and television host (Meet the Press), coronary thrombosis. 6-13-2008



Jake Flake, 72, American politician, Arizona House of Representatives (1997–2005) and Senate since 2005, heart attack. (WHAT I DIDN'T EVEN F*&^ING KNOW ABOUT THIS ONE?!) 6-8-2008

Bo Diddley, 79, American rock and roll and blues singer, songwriter, and guitarist, heart failure. 6-2-2008

Yves Saint Laurent, 71, French fashion designer, founder of Yves Saint Laurent brand, brain cancer. 6-1-2008

Harvey Korman, 81, American actor and comedian (Blazing Saddles, The Carol Burnett Show), abdominal aortic aneurysm. 5-29-2008

Sydney Pollack, 73, American film director (The Way We Were, Tootsie, Out of Africa) and actor, cancer. 5-26-2008

Utah Phillips, 73, American folk singer and political activist, heart failure. 5-26-2008.




Ling Ling, 22, Chinese panda, lived in Ueno Zoo, Tokyo, oldest giant panda in Japan, heart failure. 4-30-2008



The Hillary Clinton Campaign 6-7-2008... See. Never been sorrier to say "I told ya so," Morta-ley.

:( :( :(

Dr. Albert Hofmann

11 January 1906 - 29 April 2008
102 years, 3 months, 19 days and a couple minutes or so...

Daddy of LSD Ladies and Gentlemen! See!! You too can live to be 102 years old. An informant, well, informed me today that for our age the life expectancy is 92 for women and 90 for men. I'm thrilled as a pig in shit at the prospect of living here for another 65 years! Maybe I will see the first muslim president!!

But more on Al... oh wow... apparently he found Salvia in Mexico while traveling with his wife in the 60s (how appropriate). I know someone who recently had what was likely a seizure doing that shit.

Charlton Heston

October 4, 1924 - April 5, 2008


Oscar-winning actor best known for his role in Ben-Hur. Was politically active, promoting the Civil Rights movement in the 1960s, and serving as president of the National Rifle Association in from 1998 to 2003. No word yet on the cause of death.

Trivia: Held the rank of Staff Sargeant in the US Air Force.

Arthur C. Clarke

16 December 1917 – 19 March 2008
90 years, 3 months, 3 days, and a couple hours or so...

Occupation: Sci-fi author, inventor, and futurist.
Cause of Death: Cardio-respiratory attack... whatever THAT is...
Trivia: Hypothesized satellite communication and how it would function decades prior to satellites becoming a reality. The geostationary orbit at 36,000 kilometers above the Equator is named The Clarke Orbit, brought to you courtesy of the International Astronomical Union.

Ola Brunkert

September 15, 1946 - March 16, 2008
Occupation: Swedish Drummer
Cause of Death: An accidental fall on glass that broke and cut his throat. Gruesome!
Trivia: Appeared on every ABBA album

Countdown: The Barack Obama Campaign

ahem... while the eyebrow-raising comments by his spiritual advisor, Jeremiah Wright, that are widely being viewed as Anti-American have been taking over both the local news and YouTube, Obama's reaction is being viewed as disingenuous. When combined with the Rezco real estate controversy always bubbling under the surface, the shine is starting to dull. The press will stop being so generous to this man, and the vetting process will begin. It is also expected that John Edwards will endorse Clinton. By the time the DNC comes around this summer, their only choice will be to nominate Clinton, as they will have more members of the democratic party to lose in nominating Obama than Clinton.

Countdown: The Hillary Clinton Campaign

Barring something catastrophic happening, Hill's on her way out. She would have to win Pennsylvania and the rest of the events by a SIGNIFICANTLY large margin to even have a shot, and I just don't see it happening. I also doubt the superdelegates will have the balls to vote against the candidate that's leading in pledged delegates, especially at the expense of alienating black voters. I think the best we can hope for is a McCain win followed by a McCain fuck-up, and she can try again in four years. Hate to say it, and I will still hold out hope, but I can finally say I think her chances are less than 50%.

All Quiet on the Celebrity Front

It's been dry for awhile folks, but if you're interested in reading about a not-so-famous celebrity death, check the life and times of Alun Hoddinott.

Courtesy of Wikipedia, despite their creator's lousy business practices...

Countdown: Patrick Swayze

Dirty Dancing and Roadhouse star Patrick Swayze has been battling pancreatic cancer for months now. Hollywood.com reports that he was recently told he has five weeks to live if aggressive chemotherapy fails. This could be verging on National Enquirer nonsense, but definitely someone to keep an eye on. Hope you feel better soon, Pat.

William F. Buckley, Jr.

November 24, 1925 - February 27, 2008


Occupation: American author, Conservative commentator, and founder of the National Review.
Cause of Death: So far unknown, but he suffered from diabetes and emphysema.
Trivia: Though he was a major thought-leader of the Reagan-era Conservative politics, in his later life, he favored drug legalization and banning tobacco.

Steve Fossett

22 April 1944 - 3 September 2007
Legally Dead: 15 February 2008

Occupation: Adventurer and aviator
Cause of Death: Presumably crashed in the Nevada Desert
Trivia: Once swam to Alcatraz

Countdown: Fidel Castro

Yesterday, Fidel Castro, 81, resigned his presidency of Cuba. If we follow the rule that elderly celebrities die within a year of retiring, this means he'll be dead within the year, especially as he's ailing with some intestinal disease.

Tom Lantos

1 February 1928 - 11 February 2008

Occupation: Member of the U.S. House of Representatives
Cause of Death: Esophageal Cancer
Trivia: Holocaust survivor, escaped from the Nazis TWICE, former international affairs analyst for public television, his wife is a MORMON

trivia update: The ONLY holocaust survivor ever elected to Congress

Celeb Special: Ah Meng

18 June 1960 – 8 February 2008
48
Occupation: Singapore Zoo Celebrity, Endangered Species
Cause of Death: Old age :), 95 in human years
Trivia: Was kept for 11 years illegally as a domesticated pet; named by Singapore government as a "Special Tourist Ambassador"